What America’s Snake Owners Are Saying
The following testimonials were collected by Whit Corp’s Consumer Experience Documentation Team between 1998 and 1999. They represent a cross-section of verified Rat Bucket™ purchasers. All testimonials are real. Whit Corp has not modified them in any way that materially changes their meaning.
“I put my rats in the Rat Bucket. They stayed there. When I needed them, they were there. This is what I wanted.”
— Sandra K., Tucson, AZ Ball Python owner, 6 years. Has three snakes. Purchased one Rat Bucket per snake “out of fairness.” Has not explained this further and we did not ask.
“The handle works exactly as advertised.”
— Margaret T., Seattle, WA Corn Snake owner, 2 years. Previous rat storage solution was “a bag.” Did not elaborate on the bag situation. Whit Corp chose not to follow up.
“My snake seems entirely indifferent to whether I use the Rat Bucket or not. I, however, find it structurally adequate. The lid clicks. I appreciate a lid that clicks.”
— Derek P., Seattle, WA Boa Constrictor owner, 12 years. Has owned nine buckets in his lifetime across various brands and purposes. Considers the Rat Bucket™ “the most aggressively branded” of these.
“I was skeptical. It’s a bucket. I said that to the Whit Corp representative on the phone and she agreed with me. But then she said, ‘Yes, but it’s our bucket,’ and somehow that worked on me. I bought two.”
— Raymond F., Boise, ID Hognose Snake owner, 4 years. Uses his second Rat Bucket to store fishing supplies. Has not informed Whit Corp of this. We found out anyway.
“Before the Rat Bucket, I was using a different bucket. The Rat Bucket is similar to that bucket. The orange is nice, though.”
— Connie L., Memphis, TN Python owner, 9 years. Collects bucket-adjacent objects as a hobby. Rates the Rat Bucket™ “four out of five buckets.” Declined to specify what would earn a fifth star.
“My rats are in there. All of them. Every single one. The lid is on.”
— Darren H., Columbus, OH Multi-snake household, 11 snakes total. Orders Rat Buckets in bulk. Once called the Whit Corp consumer line at 11pm on a Tuesday just to say things were “going fine.” The representative documented this as a “positive interaction.”
“I’ve tried other rat containers. A box. A crate. A large Tupperware situation that got complicated. The Rat Bucket is, objectively, a bucket, which is what a rat container should probably be. I don’t know why it took a corporation eleven years and five million dollars to figure this out. But here we are.”
— Prof. Alan W., Raleigh, NC Herpetology researcher. Owns four snakes “professionally.” Gave the Rat Bucket an unsolicited letter grade of B+. Explained that the missing grade points were “for the price point and a general philosophical objection to the enterprise.” Whit Corp is displaying only the B+.
“The holes in the lid are in a circle. I don’t know if that’s intentional or not, but I find it aesthetically pleasing.”
— Bethany O., Portland, OR Milk Snake owner, 7 years. Graphic designer by profession. Did not intend this as a design compliment. Whit Corp’s marketing team received it as one and has begun citing it in materials. Bethany has been notified.
“Does it hold rats? Yes. Is it a bucket? Yes. Is it orange? Yes. I’m not sure what else you want me to say. These are all the relevant facts.”
— Jim N., Austin, TX King Snake owner, 18 years. Submitted his testimonial as a bulleted list. Whit Corp converted it to prose for formatting consistency. Jim has not been informed. He probably wouldn’t care.
“I called the 800 number to ask a question about the ventilation holes and the woman who answered had clearly never seen a rat. I found this charming. She was very helpful regardless. The Rat Bucket arrived in eight weeks and it was orange, as described.”
— Louise M., Denver, CO Ball Python owner, 3 years. Has since made two additional purchases, qualifying her as a Whit Corp “Preferred Rat Bucket Customer,” a designation that comes with a laminated card and a 2% discount. Louise has not used the discount.
“It is the correct shape to contain rats.”
— Anonymous State and snake species unknown. This testimonial was submitted via postcard with no return address. The postcard depicted a lighthouse. Whit Corp has included it here because frankly it’s one of our favorites.
Whit Corp did not pay for these testimonials. It did, however, send each named contributor a coupon for 10% off their next Rat Bucket purchase. Seven of these coupons have been redeemed. Three were used to purchase additional Rat Buckets. Four were used to purchase the Pro Model. The anonymous postcard individual did not receive a coupon.
The Rat Bucket™ has received zero one-star reviews and zero five-star reviews. The average rating, across all consumer platforms, is 3.4 stars. Whit Corp’s Consumer Insights Director described this as “a number.” He has since been reassigned.